Saturday the 14th: The Drownsman - Review

The Drownsman. 

The Drownsman is a 2014 Canadian horror film and the 4th film directed by Chad Archibald who's directed nothing of note as of yet. The Drownsman stars a bunch of unknowns whose credits include most of Archibald's other films. The story follows Madison who almost drowns in a lake and has visions of this "Drownsman" and is terrified of water afterward that gets so bad that she skips her best friend's wedding even though she's the maid of honor. (In writing this I started to wonder how this girl bathed, the film shows her being terrified of rain and bathtubs not just big bodies of water so I'm kinda wondering here. She doesn't even drink water, she has like a portable IV that gives her her fluids.) From what I can gather, this "Drownsman" is like Freddy Krueger where he can only get you in his domain (Freddy in your dreams and Drownsman in water). 

After Madison's friends attempt an intervention by pretty much throwing her in a tub, the Drownsman starts coming after all of the girls in classic slasher fashion. Well it's not that scary but I don't think it really tried to be and if I'm being honest, I thought twice about drinking out of my water bottle during the movie so I guess it took a small victory there. 

The acting is pretty bad, the directing is overall pretty okay. The story is kinda dumb but it's a horror movie so who cares? There's a pretty solid plot twist that kicks off the third act of the movie that I very honestly did not see coming. 

The biggest issue with the movie is that you don't really care about the characters and the villain isn't at all interesting. What made Freddy great was his banter and witty remarks, what made Jason great was his mask and machete, the Drownsman on the other hand doesn't talk and looks like a dude who just walked through a swamp, he doesn't have a memorable quality about him that sticks in your head after the movie is over. But there are the makings of a solid franchise here, if you get a better team to do some sequels then I wouldn't be too opposed to a Drownsman series. The Drownsman himself isn't memorable but Jason didn't wear his iconic mask until his third movie so there is still some hope to make the Drownsman a more memorable slasher (drowner). Plus I can't lie, the movie poster is pretty awesome and it's a clear homage to the original Nightmare on Elm Street poster. 

Rewatchability: 1.5/5, I probably won't wanna watch it again but if a few years from now we get a good sequel then I might come back to the OG and check it out. 

Rating: 2/5, a very by the numbers horror movie without much scares to show for it, as I said earlier it could end up becoming a decent franchise if put in the right hands but as of now, it's a forgettable slasher film. 

Saturday the 14th: Op-Ed on The Walking Dead

SPOILER ALERT: I'm going to try to stay away from spoilers but in the nature of critiquing a show with more than 1 season it's hard to not give up some info so I will try to only spoil minor things.

The Walking Dead is a horror/drama series that begun airing on AMC in 2010, 4 years later and we now await the 5th season coming in October. Firstly, let me just say that I am a fan of the show and though at times it may seem like I'm trashing the show, I do actually enjoy it, I realize every show can't be Breaking Bad.

The Good: Pretty much everything you've heard, the action, the characters, it's all there. The point of this op-ed is more to discuss what I believe is wrong with the show. That being said, the acting, overall, is pretty good, the directing for each episode is top-notch as well. The writing is decent, some episodes are phenomenal and some episodes fall flat. The kills are pretty sweet for the most part too and you can see the evolution of the kills from season 1 onward as the show became more popular. Lastly, season 1 is the best and most complete season of the series.

Best Characters: Michonne, Glenn, The Governor, Hershel and Daryl

The Bad: Season 2 really started the negatives of the show. Season 2 is pretty boring, they find this ranch/farm thing and stay there for the entire season with not much action in between. Season 3 picks it up and even though they spend the majority of it at one location, it has more interest as it bounces between 2 groups of characters that both hold episodes by themselves. Season 4 now is much more like season 2 than 3, The problem with season 4 especially is that they center everything around the midseason and season finale; so much so that outside of those 2 episodes it doesn't ever feel like the main characters are in real danger, even faced with a horde of zombies surrounding them, at most a relatively insignificant recurring character will die at most. The problem with this is that the other 14 episodes of the show become boring.

Character Development: The character development or lack thereof leaves little to be desired. Firstly, the main character, Rick Grimes is the same person he's been since the tragic event of the 3rd season, the only change he's gone through is he's become less insane. Rick's son Carl went from being a likable kid, to a dumbass kid, to a prick, back to a likable teen and currently he's returning to his prickish ways. The most character development we have is from Michonne who oddly enough is the newest main character in the group. To Daryl, I know, if he dies we riot, everyone loves him, me included. Daryl is a badass, straight up, with his crossbow of death and pretty much Superman level invincibility at this point. That being said, Daryl got some much needed character development which for me at least, saved the character from being a run of the mill badass. The Governor, although hated in the show as expected since he's the main villain for about a season and a half, gets a pretty good amount of development in a short time. He's one of the most interesting characters of the show.

The Kills: Not the zombie kills no, I'm talking about a character dying. (SPOILER ALERT, Obviously some information is gonna leak out of this but I'm going to try to keep it as spoiler free as possible.) I'll give the show some credit for killing off some of it's main characters, it's not to the level of Game of Thrones but still, the show has some balls. For those of you who have watched all 4 seasons, how many times has the show actually shocked you with who they've killed? Off the top of my head I can think of 3 times that I truly was like "holy shit, I can't believe that just happened". Outside of that, whoever died was someone who was a reasonably large character but who wasn't essential. It's like the writers polled the audience to find out who the largest character was who wasn't universally loved and they killed that person off. The show gets credit for killing people off but in my opinion it gets just a little too much credit.

Overall: So far we've had a perfect season (season 1), a pretty good season (season 3), 1 solid season (season 4) and 1 pretty boring season (seasons 2), which puts it at 65%. The show isn't a 6.5/10 though, for me it's about a 7/10 though season 5 is looking like a make or break season for me, especially since an interview with the executive producer had him state that they want to keep the show running through season 12. I for one can't imagine bringing these characters and this story arc through another 7 seasons and still being fully enjoyable, very few shows last that long and keep the same level of quality throughout.

How to Fix TWD: The most radical option yet possibly the most effective is to kill Rick. His development has pretty much run out and he's kinda just there now. After that I would return to the more survival aspect of it with Michonne and Daryl at the helm carrying the show. A less radical option is to pull a Breaking Bad and have the creator/writers/producers say before season 6 that the 6th season will be the final season and let all hell break lose for 16 episodes. Pretty much, The Walking Dead should end, it was the first of its kind when it comes to horror-ish shows. It had plenty of violence and got huge which opened the door for a lot of shows, some good (The Strain) and some terrible looking ones that are coming to Syfy this year. The show needs to end so that another network can get together and try to improve on it. That being said, I believe The Walking Dead is probably the best zombie show we'll get on cable television, if we get a better zombie show, it'll come from either HBO or Netflix where they have the ability for more violence, gore and language. They also will have more of an opportunity to be a show like House of Cards or True Detective that is so story driven because it doesn't have to worry about selling ad space during commercials.

In Conclusion: The Walking Dead is as true of an example of a groundbreaking TV show as you can get. I've gone over the seasons one-by-one already and how to possibly fix the show. My hope is that the show doesn't go 12 seasons because the show is getting kind of run into the ground already at season 4, season 12 would be hysterically bad. The best thing for the show would be to end after either season 6 or 7 under its own terms a la Breaking Bad, Boardwalk Empire and The Newsroom to name a few. It's a good show, you should watch it if you're a fan of the zombie genre and even if you're not there's probably something for you.

Saturday the 14th: Freddy vs. Jason Review

Tagline: "Winner Kills All"

In the first ever Saturday the 14th post I thought I'd review a crossover film featuring two of the most prolific slashers in the genre.

Freddy vs. Jason is 2003 film that doubles as the eighth installment in the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise and the eleventh in the Friday the 13th franchise; coincidentally it's also the last film in both series before they got the reboot treatment. At this point both Freddy and Jason are so well established within film and popular culture itself that giving a backstory isn't reall needed. All you really need to know is that the film does incorporate the movies that came before from both series. As most slasher films go, the acting is both non-existant and not needed, as long as you have a scream queen and some dumb teens to kill, that's really what counts. Robert Englund is by far the best thing about this movie acting-wise.

In the somewhat of a plot Freddy manipulates the currenty dead Jason to go Elm Street and start killing again to make peope fear Freddy so that he can gain power and again kill for himself. Once Freddy becomes strong enough to start killing again the two clash in a killfest that is incredibly enjoyable to watch.

You can tell this was made for fans of the two slashers as the movie doesn't stray from the formulas that came before it; that being said the movie is better off for it. By far the best parts of the movie are the 3 throwdowns between Freddy and Jason, outside of that there's the normal slaughter of teens in various fun ways. The 3 fights between the titular characters are loads of fun and I found myself smiling though the whole scene. As far as scare-factor goes, the movie isn't very scary but these old-school style slasher movies haven't been scary since the 80's. Jason is his usual speechless, emotionless killing machine while Freddy is his usual sadistic, comedic self and we get to watch them torment each other and some teenagers and it really comes off as an ode to the original films. There's really not a ton more to say about this movie, it's slasher-y, fun, gorey enough and an all around solid horror movie. For fans of the slasher subgenre it's a welcome and enjoyable installment into both series.

Movie Idea: A movie called Face Off where Ghostface(Scream) and Leatherface (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) fight each other.

Overall: A perfect slasher film for fans of the two horror titans that did the source material justice. If you don't like slasher movies or these two characters then this movie will definitely not change your mind. For a fun movie to watch and crack open a few beers during, this one will definitely get the job done.

Final Verdict: 4/5, definitely a must-see if you love these 2 guys, and well worth a watch if you're new to the genre.

Saturday the 14th: An Introduction

Welcome to Saturday the 14th, a series that will dive into the world of horror films. From the most recent to the classics, this is where you will find reviews and maybe even some editorials here and there. Horror is arguably my favorite genre of film so it seems fitting to me to create a sub-blog of sorts to review and discuss horror. Starting hopefully tomorrow I'll be putting up reviews as often as possible, if there's no horror movies in theatres I'll dive into my personal collection and/or Netflix to pick one to rewatch and review. 

A bit on my taste. I'm a big fan of the Saw series, I own all 7 and I think they're all good. I'm working on my Jason collection as well. In more modern terms I enjoy a lot of James Wan's films (The Conjuring, Insidious). I also like some of the weirder ones like Cannibal Holocaust, A Serbian Film, both Human Centipedes. One of my favorite subgenres of horror is the "so bad it's good" genre; movies like Sharknado, Dead Snow, and Poultrygeist. For the most part I'll watch any horror movie, although I do seriously hate the Paranormal Activity franchise so if they release more of those, you shouldn't expect a review of it. 

Well that's it for now, I hope to see you next Saturday the 14th.